..saturday night..

Okay, be prepared to laugh. As I was thinking about what I wanted to write for this post, this song popped into my head.

That is ridiculously funny, it brings me back to gosh I don’t know maybe being in grade 9 or 10. Wow did I just type that, that seems young to be going to house parties but whatever  – that’s where we were. That’s what the song reminds me of. #smalltown #rednecksVStheworld

Back to reality, I am sitting on my couch enjoying some very much appreciated peace and quiet, drinking a cup of Chai Tea. I spent the afternoon hiking around in the woods near my home in pursuit of an infamous place known only as Hole in the Wall.

It was foggy and misty and absolutely glorious out. When I arrived I was actually in awe of the magnanimous size of the place. It seems to have been made for the purpose of bringing a steam donkey through a ledge of earth as there were footings for what was once a trestle. It’s long gone now, but as I stood there I could appreciate the place as it might have been.

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What a blessing. As I have been working on my January Challenge for my Project, 12×12 this was a day to reflect. There is something so incredibly peaceful about walking in the rain. Here where I live it’s so wet all the time, that it has created the most beautiful flora. Spongy green moss covers most trees and the floor of the forest. As we are in winter, all the dropped leaves are decaying around the ferns and shrubs. To some I am sure this might appear gnarly and cold but to me – I experience the view of the creator. What great Lover shows us His care by painting the details of the earth in such a way.. it’s calm and peace. I am so grateful to have these opportunities.

I’ve been feeling rather good these last few days. Purpose. It’s such an important element to being whole. With out it, life is hard. Much harder then the usual hard that accompanies day to day living. Having something to be passionate about again is helping. My previous No’s being turned into sometimes quiet but none the less, YES’s is helping me to breathe again. I am smiling again and actually – I feel pretty excited. Even a month ago I wasn’t sure that was ever going to be possible.

I know this does sound a tad dreary, but the truth is this. I have nothing left to loose.

I could continue to wallow in self pity as I was doing or I have a choice. I can stand up grab hold of the life I desire and go get it. 12×12 is so much bigger then a simple desire to improve self. For me 12×12 is a battle plan. 12×12 is how I am going to cope with the loses of the past year and develop a new strategy to live. Not exist but to really LIVE.

12 month, 12 goals. Evolution. I am moving forward one day at a time.

If adrenaline and physical activity help, well who can argue that’s not what’s best for me. I am drawn to ascetically beautiful things. Natural things. As I search for the beauty of my life – I see less of the darkness. Who knows what set backs are coming, for I am sure there will be many but that be as it may – I am prepared to keep moving.

I heard a quote – a friend of mine has it on his Twitter profile: A body in motion, stays in motion. I think it is loosely based on Newtons 3 Laws but ever since I heard it last year – it’s kind of stuck with me.

It’s kind of becoming my mantra – Yes. Just say Yes.

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I am a happier person, a healthier person and just generally a more peaceful person with this attitude. I am excited about life. I really, honestly forgot what that felt like.

In the last week I have had the very good fortune to have gone snowshoeing, taken a dive into the icy pacific ocean, gone hiking though the old growth forest, witnessed the wrath of a winter storm from the beaches of the west coast, marmoted in a tree, and lastly today laid eyes on something historical and spectacular.

I know not every day can be a like this – LOL I do need to go back to work. I know my kids will come around and we’ll have our own kinds of adventures. I know there are going to be dirty jobs waiting and drives and other things that are part of my regular role of responsibility but I think it is fair to say, I’m back. This part, this search for motion and beauty are important too. I won’t let them go again. 12×12 is going to help me, like as though I had amnesia and 12×12 is my cure. I am coming back to my self one month at a time.

Saturday night. Not quite what they used to be, LOL but I wouldn’t trade these ones for anything.

Better go get ready, I am having dinner with friends tonight.

Peace to you Readers,

Miss D.

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