Where is the balance? I have been here before, about two years ago. When I allow my life to settle and things are “good”. My physical self automatically relaxes. I start eating again, my appetite returns. I feel relaxed and it’s becomes unnecessary to train ridiculously hard just to cope. I weighed my self this week, all week I am 131. I haven’t been this weight in at least a year. I have this pouchy little tummy, that seriously looks like I just had a kid, my bottom and my thighs have gotten round and my cheeks, my face cheeks are puffy. I don’t know what to make of it. This in sane hunger; this unmotivated me. I am NEVER like this and I don’t actually think I like it very much.