Wow, what an event filled day!!!!
I am happy to say I am cozy warm, snuggled up in my bed!!! I just had the longest, shower.
Every night when my kids and I sit down to dinner we always go around the table and share the best parts of our day… Me I give a little blip, the short version of my events usually picking one thing that I found funny or whatever, Dd is the quietest… She sometimes needs to be coaxed.. to share.. But Ds OMGosh lol he’s funny because he starts from the moment he wakes up and gives a play by play, to the point Dd and I are like holy cow will this never end… -Ds describes every detail… It’s pretty funny actually and he’s half kidding too… So of course he’s a bit dramatic… But tonight we had company over for dinner and on he went and It totally hit me, that kid is soooo much like me it’s ridiculous!! Gosh they crack me up… My grams was totally listening too it was sooo cute. What a nice visit we had.
Too much food, too much wine, definitely too much dessert!! It was great!
Today so many things occurred to me.
(Warning… Longish story ahead..)
First I am so good with my life right now. I really can’t remember really ever meaning that before. I love it how positive picks up momentum, like positive attracts positive!!!
A few months ago I was really looking hard, trying to figure out what I’m doing where I’m going and after a while I felt nothing but stress. It wasn’t a great feeling at all.. So one day after some really lukewarm prayer I stopped trying so hard and let things be.
Oddly, since then things have just been falling into place. I just feel happy. It’s simple. Nothing too drastic has changed, I mean I have all the same problems, well with the exception of my job which totally is amazing now!!!! But my perception I think is the thing that changed. I choose joy! It’s awesome and I feel great!!!
Isn’t that weird? Then there had been some other minor realizations.. It’s so cool how fate plays such a part in our lives. Well people call it fate, I call it God 🙂 but it’s just cool. How I ended up here in courtenay, so totally amazing and precise and easy. The nanny job, what I have learned from that has worked two fold positively in my life, it healed something very old in my heart and has helped me appreciate what I have in front of me now. Sooo very much.
And if I hadn’t left PA when I did, I’d never have experienced all of that, and nor would I have been ready for the opportunity to take this new job.. And NOW my back gets hurt, which forces my bosses to look prematurely for a new Nanny, which incredibly they found right away which means I’ve got three more days of work and I’m done!!!!!!
On top of all that craziness, DS and his broken arm… So much pain, so much hardship for him and what are the fruits of that…. Personally I think the silver lining is our relationship. There has been so much drama happening with my ex and the kids and for the first time this week I think they finally saw the truth in what’s really going on. Ds especially. It just is what it is. Now even that fear, my biggest fear that DH might somehow manipulate them away from me, even that has lost some of it’s weight.
I trust in God. I was struggling, and judging and questioning… Now I just am, and it feels so right.
Be still and know that I am God.. I like that. It’s appropriate for me now.
Holy cow hey, that’s a bit of a progression of thought….
So beside all of that my day was rather busy, I did all the little errands I had been putting off, I started shopping for supplies for the YG here since they never usually play games!! Which is obviously gonna change now that I am here. There is probably 15 boys between the ages of 12 and 14. I’m gonna ask my boss to approve me spending money on two good hockey nets, and I’m gonna teach the kids to play, European hand ball, which is like my favorite game cause I completely dominate!!! LOL we’re gonna play mini hockey cause that’s completely fun, we’ll play some ozzy rules duck duck goose, LOL I’ve got some fun stuff lined up for the saturday group.
I’ve also just received an email saying that we might need to move our seniors group to the hall because there will be too many kids for the library!!!! That’s crazy good!
I am so blissed, one last thing about the awesome revelation of a day I had… So I was walking in walmart today, starting to get more sore. I made it about half way through the day, but then I started to lock up again. It was not the greatest feeling, and kinda put a damper on what I was doing… I got to say I’ll be VERY happy when I’m completely healed up!!! Not to mention how I’ll probably up on the mountain every morning!!! Heck yeah!!
But back to the original point, so I’m in walmart and I had this very. Deja vu feeling, and I was like… Omgosh hello old life! I’ve missed you!!
Then the weight of what is really changing hit me!!! I’m totally independent, I live in a great little place, cute and trendy, I am 100% capable of taking good care of the three of us, I have everything I need, AND now I’m even going to be able to be home after school for my kiddos!! Dinner will be regulated and lovingly prepared, not rushed, activities and play dates organized, groceries and housework done efficiently, and I’ll still have time to prep, work, go to the gym, actually have coffee with my girlfriends, go for runs, hit daily Mass again… LIKE this is better almost then winning the lottery! I realize it, how lucky I am and how very very blessed!!! And that’s truly different than before.. LIFE is Good 🙂 finally!