This is what I see.
It’s Saturday, I’ve been here in my new town for exactly one week. One week ago at the very hour we were mad scrambling to get the trucks packed up.
It’s been a busy week, but despite the business and DH’s shenanigans, I am feeling so peaceful. I think this week was one of those enlightening epiphany sort of times where you really see so clearly.
I have been back to PA twice now because of work and the driving is a cross for sure. I get so sleepy when I drive, I need to find someway to remedy that.
I have been to church about 3-4 times. Yesterday after Daily Mass there was adoration for an hour. It was the strangest thing I was reading from this book I have by St. Francis de Sales and I started to get really, really sleepy. So I stopped and then started my rosary. I think I barely made it though till the 3rd decade I could barely sit there it was the strongest feeling of tiredness and then holy cow I just woke up. It was nutty. Then during benediction it was all in Latin. Holy Holy Holy was it ever beautiful!
This church is really different than the one where I came from, it’s huge and ornate and everyone is particularly relevant all the teaching is followed. I LOVE that so much. I am thank full for many things but that this church fits so perfectly to my desires, to my level of faith. I don’t know that doesn’t really make sense but I have always felt a little old school when it comes to my faith. I have a certain way and here in this church everyone else is the same. I just love it.
I had my first big run today, another blessing here is that there is a great loop that leads off one block from my house. So that means I run from home rather than driving somewhere to go out and go for a run. I think the loop is maybe 6 k which is perfect. 6 k three times a week is a great amount of exercise.
You know sometimes I still can’t believe I made it. I am out. DH and I are divorced, I am living in a different town, in a nice place, fully furnished, with a good job, lots of support from family and friends. It’s so weird because Dh for years and years and years told me I could NOT do it. I would be nothing with out his help, that if I left him I’d be on welfare, living in a little crack shack, with no means to help myself, I’d become a whore and abandon my kids. I know that sounds shocking but I am serious. Over the years a little bit at a time he made me believe all those lies.
I think we are going to go out to the lake, I’ll finish this post later.
“Lord, I have made my own cross today.” And He will say, “Yes, my child. But I forgive you. And now, I unite your cross to Mine, and the suffering you now endure is made holy and will be raised up to work toward the good (Rom 8:28).”