..try, try, again..

I have been so negligent in my writing lately, I don’t really even know why either. I have a ton to say, so much so that I find it slightly difficult to articulate what it is that i want to say.. Which I find so odd because I can usually always express my self here.

So I will be more simple, rather than trying to chronicle every little thing, every single event I will just write about my day.

Today, was a good day over all I guess, well at least some good things happened and I guess so did some bad things. It started kinda bad because Dh woke me up with some angry rude texts. Let me just say, not cool. He had our kids last night, which is why I even had my cell phone on. Normally I shut the stupid thing off. FOR THAT REASON!

He didn’t take the kids to church, sad so I went alone. I hate going alone on Sunday. It was a hard night the night before, I missed my kids and Dh was telling me a bunch of stuff to make me feel bad about myself. I went to mass alone and then stayed for adoration.

After that I went to rent When in Rome and it was actually in. Kind of a cute movie, funny in parts I liked it. I made a cup of coffee while i watched the movie, enjoyed that.. After the movie I went for a run, I was seriously struck by a case of the blahs, I knew I had this formal dinner to attend tonight so I ran them out!

Our parish priest is moving so there was a huge good bye dinner in his honor. It was a nice evening, even though I had to go solo. Dh took the kids to the city to watch a movie, and even though I asked him if I could have them for this even weeks ago, and even though I had already bought their tickets, he said No and took them for the day. What ever, I sat with some friends, we chatted, ate great food, the father that’s leaving made a nice presentation about his life, from Childhood till now, which was really interesting and then after it was all over I went and picked up my kids.

Dh actually had the audacity to try and get mad at me for taking so long at the dinner, he wanted to bring the kids home hours earlier!! Whatever. I wanted them with me and he caused the trouble so I went alone.. and then he actually expected me to leave in the middle when he decided he had, had enough. Dh is such a jerk!

I picked up my kids to find out something interesting. My son and I have this thing, when there is stuff on his mind he faithful talks to me right before bed during the tuck in, that’s our “talk time”. When ever there is a problem, a questions, or whatever it’s our time. With my daughter, it’s sitting in the car once we arrive home from somewhere, more often than not, this happens immediately after we arrive home from school. Last night, it was after I picked them up from Dh’s place.

She straight out asked me if I was Bipolar!! I said where did you hear that? She said Dad told her, it’s the reason I am the way I am, and if she ever needed to she could call him if I was angry or anything!! WTF. Seriously WTF.

I set her straight in a gentle way, I explained that a few years ago, the Dr’s did test for this and reasoned that what was going on with me was certainly not a mental illness but a bout of mental anguish over my external circumstances. I didn’t mention this part but it all happened when Dh was doing the bulk of his Cheating, beating and when he was the most cruel to me. He was crazy making, and I was falling for it.. WAS. Not anymore. I think I did alleviate her fears, but what a jerk. Why on earth would he tell her something so ridiculous. Talk about grasping at straws.

The other thing that happened, was my poor 12 year old Ds could not fall asleep. Apparently his father bought him a monster and a bag a candy on the way home from the city. Dh knows that Ds already struggles for sleep and that he is prone to anxiety and he gives him and energy drink and candy in the evening. What a piece of work Dh is lately.

It’s so frustrating.

Oh well, I cleaned up his mess the only way I know how, calm, consistent, loving parenting.

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One thought on “..try, try, again..

Add yours

  1. This stuff does subside. It just really totally sucks in the meantime. Ignore everything. I don’t know if you read my little drama this week, but sweety… why the hell do we have to live so far away. Call me anytime, and remember that early morning texts there, means mid morning phone calls here.

    Hold on. ❤

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