..evil..

I wish I called the police, but I am too scared.

I didn’t again. Dh is manipulating my kids, taking them when ever he wants, today he once again locked me a room, in a friggen corner behind my door and wouldn’t let me out. The kids were home. Ds knocked on the door. Dh never listens to me. I stopped answering my phone. So he came storming over here. Then he came into my room and shut the door and started yelling at me. I asked him 20 times to open the door but he wouldn’t and he slammed his hand on the door.

Friggen bloody hell.

Why am I so weak with him?

I’ve been trying to find a way but I am so stupid. I need serious help. He hurts me over and over and over and I still keep trying to find a way. I can’t say no to him very well. I have been trying to make peace, I’ve invited him to have dinner here, or to watch a movie. But it’s all wrong. It’s all wrong.

I am very dependant on him still, it’s not healthy, he hurts me with the kids, with his family, with his control, with my fear, how many nights am I afraid that he might come over here.

I want a civil arrangement but I need to move closer to my family. He can pay child support. But I have to get out of here. I just can not keep going though this stuff. I feel sick. It’s not fair. It was my day with the kids, he has them, he brainwashes them. He tries to punish me.

He can have the house. He can have his fancy truck, he can have all his things, I just want my kids. 

I feel sick now.

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