..at work..

Today I am at work, at the school. I am a the relief secretary. Just one of my many jobs. The real secretary didn’t leave me a thing to do which is a little frustrating as I am here for eight hours.

My house is a mess, LOL. What new about that these days. I am just gone too darn much to take proper care of it. Last night I fell asleep with the dishwasher open, the radio on, the lights on, dirty dishes on my counter… You get the idea. I woke at 3 am and came down stairs to put away what ever needed to be in the fridge and I set up my coffee for the morning.

I didn’t fall asleep standing up or anything, I just went to lay with Ds as he was having a hard time sleeping and well, cozy bed, already in my Pj’s.. one thing lead to another, we prayed together and there you have it. I was out.

So I had a retreat to go to this weekend. One for my Youth Group, just my seniors. I canceled though. My boss, Father M, gave me a very hard time and basically said I would be fired if I went. I was pretty sick again Friday, it started Thursday night and continued until Friday through the night. But Saturday, I felt great. GO figure. I had a very productive day Saturday. I went to Mass myself. Then came home, had a simple dinner and waited for DH and the kids to arrive. It was a civil evening. We all watched a movie together. Then Dh and I talked a bit. He slept over that night. It was fine. I still don’t love him. I sort of wish I did. It would make life so much easier. That might seem like a strange statement but so many changes that are going on right now…

So all the kids and Father A came over last night. The retreat seemed like fun, I do wish I could have gone. We had a chance to have a discussion about the upcoming year, which i just want to point out will be busy. Our GS groups are really growing.

I am undecided about a couple of things. Where do I want to live? Here or closer to my parents? There are a lot of practical reasons for both, but right now as far as jobs go I have a decent income here. I just need to find a place. I don’t even need to do that but I am being nice so I will.

I guess I am leaning pretty heavily on staying. The reason for going, is only one. My parents. I could use their help.

I will continue to look at places and apply for jobs, right now I really need something to get me through the summer. Today I found a few things, a reception job at the local newspaper (obviously I’d be interested in that) an administrative assistant job at the local Literacy agency, and a retail job in a gourmet kitchen store. Tell me that this wasn’t an optimistic day for job hunting!

On an unrelated topic I did two things this past week, I went for a bunch more tests hopefully some of which I will get results tomorrow. The other thing that I did this week was head to the collage and apply for the Applied business program. I want to take the administative program. It’s a practical program for me to start now, as thats really where I want to work for the next few years. It would be appropriate hours for me while the kids are in school still.

I am praying for direction. Direction and guidance.

I will try and take a few steps back from my reason, pay close attention to that inner voice that is Christ and be attentive and open. Open with the YG, open with my heart, I will pray and love myself as Christ says I should and keep going.

I love days with purpose. Days like today.

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