Yesterday was not bad, I have to say. See that was me being positive. Yes, I know strange right!!

Friday night, I had Youth Group. We were leading the Stations of the Cross at our parish. I was impressed because they were serious. The kids I mean, my usual leader was not there so the main group of teens where young, like 12, 13, and 14.  After the week before and the whole sardines in the dark debacle.. well I really wasn’t sure what would happen at the church. But they made the effort and the parishioners where happy, even I was happy.

Following the stations we went in the the hall and since the parish hall is so much smaller than the school gym, we had to play different games. We started with British bull dog, but my reinvented harder way…

Muahahahahahahaha <— Evil Laugh!!

The bulldogs were on thier knees and the runners where doing a bear crawl. It was soo funny.

After that we got into a very 4 year old like mindedness.. We played Go Go Stop, and Simon says.. Danielle, one of my seniors got everyone out in one shot while we were jumping up and down on one foot, turning on the spot and patting our heads, she simply said “stop” and everyone did. That was pretty funny too.

We finished in the usual way, songs, prayers, good byes.

My Ds wasn’t there. He was with Dh. I was sort of sad that he didn’t come, but in reality, it made my night easier without him there. Things have been so difficult between us. Dh is being so immature. I don’t like his actions at all. I am just so sorry that the kids are suffereing.

After YG, I just went into the church and sat. I sat infront of the Blessed Sacrament. It was silence. I think I should mention, I went to see my confessor that afternoon, directly prior to YG. He lives in the next town over, so it was an effort but the peace! was worth every second of the drive, (not to mentions my eternal place in heaven :p).

So sitting there in the dark church, the silence was nearly tangible. I could hear it. I could feel it. I haven’t experienced silence in weeks. I was preparing myself though because I knew I was going to be alone that night. Dh had planned to have both kids sleep over. It would be the very first time that I had spent the night alone since I was 17. Can you see the importance of that night. I haven’t really been alone since I was 17 years old. It has always been Dh, and or either Ds or DD. NEVER alone.

I wish I could tell you that I had a beautiful sleep and felt very at peace.. but come on now readers you know me better than that! I had an unfortunate inciedenct with some cottage cheeze..

Here it is as recounted for my SIL in an email I was in the middle of writing at the time of said incedance..


Something really disgusting just happened! I will tell you about it as I am right in the middle of this note, as it just happened. SO I know it’s after 11, but I am running tomorrow so I needed a little snack. It’s a Lent Friday so I fasted today, but then I worked tonight and now since I will need some energy tomorrow I decided to eat a little energy food. Anyways I opened up a brand new container of cottage cheese, right on top there was a little tiny piece of mold. I being as hungry as I was just spooned of the mold and decided to eat some anyways.. Okay all is good I’ve eaten about half and last bite… HUGE MOLD taste I think my tongue feels weird, it was seriously the most disgusting thing EVER. Okay, so I think I will chuck the rest and the container. The expiry is like in three weeks what the heck!

 Aren’t you just so glad I shared that with you!!

I ended up making my self a little salad after that.. And hardly sleeping at all.

I got up the next day all alone and then met my friend to run. I don’t really know how far we ran but it was about 1 hour and 25 minutes. We did a section that led up out of town and came to a place that over looked the valley. That was cool, I’m stiff so I know it did some good.

After the run we were at SB having a coffee and a chat when Dd called me. It was her 10th birthday yesterday. I left SB then and went home to prepare breakfast for Dd. I picked her up when I was showered and breakfast was done, I spent the entire day with my GIRL it was perfect. We with Ds had a nice meal, then Dd and I went to a babyshower, then we purchaced New Moon, which ended up costing me .15cents. And after the fact I am glad too, becuase it wasn’t that good of a movie, so .15 cents now seems appropriate. I am not a hater or anything, I read and enjoyed the books, it’s just that the movies aren’t really very well done.

After the babyshower and the errands I made dinner, another favortite of Dd. Dh came for  dinner and to do laundry. I was really proud of myself, I was friendly and polite but I didn’t alow myself even an inch to go into his miserablness. I kept my shield on good and tight.

I sometimes have a hard time fathoming that fact that I have have a 10 year old baby. How on earth did my children grow up so fast. It was a blink. So much struggle and now I am free. That’s what keeps coming to me, I am free!! Free from the oppression. Free to be me, whom ever that actually is!! Free to love my children, to be my self, to love myself, and to just be. It’s an incredible liberation.

And to cap what I sincerly thought was a ‘nice’ day. Ds asked me to tuck him in and we talked, we really talked. I felt at peace. Thank you LORD.

I guess I better get up, I am typing while still in bed. There is Mass in an hour so we better start getting ready. I have a meeting with this girl, she is considdering RCIA. She is seventeen, beautiful, and searching. That always amazes me, God’s grace is so abundant.

I heard this, this morning, I am considdering tattooing it on my forhead..

But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, Rm 5:20

Happy Sunday readers~




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