Life feels good.
It’s a Sunday morning and I am watching the sky gradually lighten, there are still heavy clouds but there is more light this morning then yesterday. Yesterday morning was something wholly different. I got up at the same time but rather than make my self a coffee and crawl back into my warm bed, as I have done now I donned my runners and met up with my fellows.
It was pouring, the big fat, soak you drops, there must have been a southerly wind because it certainly was not cold. We started before there was any light, and to be honest it pretty much stayed that way the entire time. I think we must have done about 8 k nothing to major, but half was on the roads which I don’t like.
I wish a could describe more accurately the sensation of running in the rain. It’s not quiet, there is this sort of rushing noise, intermingled with thousands of continuous drips. Rather than the thudding of your feel on the ground, it’s more squishing, back and forth.. Squish, squash..
On Friday night, dh and I went out to dinner to talk. Dd was sleeping at a friends and ds was at youth group, I think we could have talked at home but dh really needed a break from the IL’s. So we shared a meal, it was so odd. We’ve been doing this for years, we have fought a million times, but this was different.. so empty. We did talk, however not much is changed. I think maybe he is a little bit calmer. If we can be friends, I’d be happy with that.
The point to this little tangent, was that I had a glass of red wine with dinner. I am not much of a drinker. You know it’s funny, and I think it has to do with the fact that I am ALWAYS the youngest in the group.. for ever i am always the baby, the young one, whatever people say, but I want to have a glass of wine with dinner or when we are gathered among friends.. to be social and i guess somewhat sophisticated.. Isn’t that so ridiculous.. LOL. Yet, I don’t enjoy it and I truly dislike being slightly intoxicated. That feeling you get, all fuzzy. In most circumstances, I really don’t enjoy that sensation. I wonder what everyone else thinks about the fuzzy feeling. So anyways, last night with dinner I had the glass of wine.
Friday was World Hunger Day, at my children’s school we had a march to educated passers by to the plight of hunger. I love that our school is socially conscience. It’s so beautiful. But in my error, or maybe in my necessary suffering, because the suffering lasted longer than I expected, I fasted.
I know I don’t write a whole lot about fasting here, but it’s part of my life now. I don’t write about it because it’s so private, and really not necessary for people to know. I have imposed upon myself a restricted diet, less food is better for you anyhow. But noticing the hunger and using that suffering for prayer, is very powerful.
It’s a gift, a tool Jesus himself gave us to be more like him.
Like I said, I am young, but not only that, I have a large responsibility at home, I have to cook and take care of 6 people. So I don’t completely eat nothing. I always eat dinner with my family. I eat smaller portions, but nothing noticeable to them.
Traditionally, Friday is a very good day to choose as a fast day, however for me, I run on Saturdays so I need efficient fuel on Friday to give me the energy Saturday requires to finish the run. This has been a burden somewhat, fasting and athletes… not a great combination. I always go out of my way to eat a little more on Thursdays and Fridays, otherwise i can barely make it. I know for sure because several times especially on Thursdays i have to put everything into it to finish. Lack of energy is my biggest hurdle.
Okay so back to the world hunger day, I fasted all day until sun down. I was busy. I was close to God. I was happy and at peace. I didn’t go to mass but I did have my adoration.. I read from my School of Community book. My topic was all about poverty. I had one of those moments. Those moments where unmistakably the presence of God is near. I honestly asked Him to help me find my way. To help us.
I am little, I am nothing, the “true and great thing” is Another.
Friday ended up being an incredible spiritually sound day. I put things into perspective, had a nice walk, completed my bulletin, and over all enjoyed the blessings i have all around me. It was in that frame of mind that i went to dinner with dh.
Back to the wine, Saturday I was tired, really fatigued my muscles had to work overtime. I wonder if that had anything to do with the wine from the previous night. So I had one glass with dinner and to that which according to etiquette would be atrocious.. I drank about three glasses of h2o within the same period. When I got home, I then drank even more water later on. It’s strange. On the other hand, I didn’t sleep well that night, I woke frequently, nearly every hour.. so that possibly is what had me so tired.
Anyway, not important. I still want to write about the Alter Servers, we had so much fun!! but I will have to put that on hold till tomorrow.
Time to get up 🙂
Have a fabulous day.