I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write, there have been so many positive moments over the last week, but the reason I am up this early is not because of something positive. Over all I am irritated. I suppose I probably won’t start griping in real life so maybe this will become my outlet. I just don’t know how to handle this situation. I am so terribly bad at confrontations, that is the problem maybe. I need to be more authoritative.
Dh is giving me the freeze again, so it’s not like he can even help me. Last week, when everyone was here I tried to keep my cool, I tried to stay in the here and now but it was hard I’ll admit. I am not really a people person. I think sometimes people have a hard time with that aspect of my personality as I am naturally friendly to most anyone I encounter. As a preference, I am NOT a people person and I very much like my time alone.
As I suggested my last post, I was going running on my birthday. That was 6 days ago already. I usually love the company, but with that many people in my home, I seriously needed some space both physical and mental. I hung back, paced my self a tiny bit slower so there was a distance between myself and the pack and really enjoyed the silence. That probably seemed very anti social. I guess it was a little bit of self preservation though, really.
We all went for coffee a short one that day and afterwards Deb and I had a visit and got caught up. Everyone one else scattered. We had a good long talk. About many things, it was nice.
Later that day my house was a zoo, but at least I was able to recharge my batteries so to speak.
I had many surprises that day-both good and bad, but over all it was a nice day. I’m so sardonic. I tend to think that my Inlaws keep a hidden agenda. I couldn’t keep that out of my mind while they were here. Especially now that they know there is strife between Dh and I. That’s off the topic. Non inportante..
So in the days following my birthday, I got to spend some time with my favorite nieces. I shouldn’t pick favorites since I have so many but these two are especially close to me. I practically took care of them since they were born. They are what I miss most about CR. In terms of people.
After MIL finally left we got to do some fun stuff. I took them to the water park, we went swimming, we went for a hike and picked blackberries. I wish they could have stayed a tiny bit longer, but as it was a surprise that they were even here in the first place, I am happy with the time I got.
Over this past week, there has been alot of this and that going on. We are still adjusting to BIL and SIL moving in.
That I guess is my gripe. I am embarrassed to write what I am about to write but as I have been up since 5, and didn’t fall asleep last night until nearly one.. I am a bit grumpy..
They are SOOOOOO lazy. The first three days they helped out and now NOTHING. They consume food faster than a team of termites in an antique shop!
They are boasting about how much money they are saving but do nothing to pitch in, I mean come on. If you leave a room, turn the light out, if you have clothes in the dryer, check them.. it doesn’t take over an hour to dry one little load. If you feel the need to drink 4 liters of juice, at least remake it when the jug is empty. Don’t put it back in the fridge with nothing left. That one bothers me particularly for two reasons. I never drink anything except water and the odd glass of milk, never juice. SO why am I always the one making it, and second juice is quite expensive..
We have already gone through our monthly quota and its only been 10 days. Everything that takes us a month to consume, is gone –after only ten days? Have you no restraint… everything in moderation! That’s such an important lesson. Bread, juice mix, cheese, cheese slices, cheese whiz, peanut butter, butter, pickles, crackers, grrrrr I could quite literally go on and on. I’ve been baking everyday. I have already made three cakes this week. I usually make one per week. I need them to put in Dh’s lunches.
Last night after I got home from running, after I waited an extra half an hour for BIL to finish what he was doing at the club house so I could give him a ride, after I got the kids showered and ready for bed, I came down stairs to find nothing done. By now it was nearly ten pm. All the windows were wide open, the curtains open, every light in the house on, the kitchen a mess.. I then went to make Dh’s lunch and there was nothing. No bread, no lunch meat, no cake.. I was just out. If I would have been told we were out of bread, I would have picked some up. That’s just not fair. Then I figured I could give him some left overs, well it turns out that my lovey house guest after complaining that there was no cheese to make cracker’s and cheese, heated up the dinner and ate that. Double whammy. He is over 300 lbs. Why is he eating a second dinner at 10 pm. Grrrrrr!!!!!!! So I made the lunch out of what I could find, I baked another cake and I cleaned up the kitchen. What did they do, watched Grey’s anatomy on the couch. Forget asking if they could oh I don’t know help me?? What ever. I am totally a hold it all in and freak out later kind of gal. My limits are being tested. That is for sure!!!
Then there is the house. I left them a list of very simple tasks, my house is huge I spend 65 to 75 % of my time maintaining it. I expected and I told them that if they moved in they must help. This week was very busy so I left them the simple things, the everyday things. Get up, make your bed, open the blinds, open the windows to allow the fresh air in, when your breakfast is complete pick up your plate, tidy up behind yourself, vacuum the hardwood, keep your dishes off my coffee table, wipe the main bathroom, these particular tasks are so very minimal. All of that would take me under 15 minutes. The kids take care of the tidying of both the entrances, they take care of there own rooms, the playroom and they take care of bringing there own laundry down. The kids take care off there pets, with prompting and supervision obviously but my 9 and 11 year old can manage more than two adults???
I am not expecting them to do all of it, but everyday the house needs at a bare minimum a tidy.
I make lunch and dinner. If I am at Mass, my kids can get there own breakfast. They are old enough and capable enough to do so. I don’t need BIL or SIL to babysit my kids. When I make dinner I always clean as I go, I don’t leave un necessary dishes. When I make lunch I don’t leave the kitchen a mess I clean as I GO. My house has an open floor plan if I were to leave a mess for later, it would be me picking up anyways. So am efficient in that.
After dinner since I cook and they don’t even offer to help -they clean up. Sort of, my kids clear the table, take out the garbage and compost. SIL and BIL do the 5 dishes and put the dinner plates into the dishwasher. They don’t dry the dishes they leave crumbs all over the counter ALL DAY!! for that matter, I am forever wiping down the counters. And they leave grease all over the stove. When I clean the kitchen I look at it as, preparing the kitchen for tomorrow. I want to be assured that all the dishes are done and put away all the appliance’s are wiped and spills are taken care of, anything that was utilised that day is clean and ready for the next day. I sweep the floor to finish.
Why is that so hard? It’s a kitchen, a work area. It needs to be very clean. That’s just life. No one enjoys housework, but if you want to be living in this house, it takes alot of work. You can not enjoy living in this house with this quality of life with out working hard. If you think you can, your entire house with be gone to the dogs in less than a month.
I know that seems like a long and whiny post but I hate having to tell them this stuff. We talked about it already twice. I am not their mother, I will not nag. I have left so many things out, things that irritate me just as much.. but as it’s now my regular wake up time I shall go and begin my day.
One last little thing, I don’t want to be arrogant. I am constantly striving to personally be a more humble person. This is something personal I am constantly working on. Humility. It is an effort to keep it in the for front of my mind. I don’t want these irritations to become an obstacle in that goal. I don’t know for sure but maybe these difficulties will be a method for me to achieve a greater awareness of my own weaknesses.
Even though, I don’t like it.
If you made it through all of that and you are not bored to tears.. have a blessed Friday~