..random stuff..

Good Morning.

I feel like I can truly say that today. Plus it’s Tuesday. Go figure. It’s a minute or so after 6 am but I have been up for nearly an hour. I have been doing laundry. Strange probably, but when you have two kids that wear uniforms to school laundry is done at all sorts of strange hours.

Hummm, Ds just zombie walked in here and crawled into my bed. I think he is awake… Maybe not.

Back the the laundry, I guess it’s not because thy wear uniforms that I am doing laundry, but that is what I am drying at least, in the wash a load of dark colored delicates. It’s more because I have time to pay close attention right now. Since we share a washer and dryer now with three other people I never like to leave things soaking during the day.

SIL is washing baby clothes regularly.

It’s absolutely pouring out. Mostly I love that fall has finally arrived. I just love the fall, crisp air, unbelievable foliage, delicious recipes, fresh apples, pumpkins and squash, mittens and scarfs, umbrellas, and wind..

The only negative about fall is for DH. While I am inside preparing hearty meals and enjoying the sound of the rain, he is eating sopping wet sandwiches while trying to stay warm in between working at a punishingly difficult job on the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere.

On days like today, I worry for Dh.

On days like today I like to make sure there is tea on when he arrives home, he is partial to chai and something good to eat.

I know he works hard for us, so in return I want him to know we appreciate the comforts.

Does that seem like an oddly pleasant statement regarding DH. I guess you could say that’s where my decision lays. I will try, it’s what is right, and I am going to do my best. Again.

Wow, the rain is loud on my roof, I could listen to the sound all day. It’s so peaceful to me. It calms my soul.

Well Ds is sleeping, I though he might have gotten up as I have a few lights on, but nope he simply pulled the blanket over his head and fell back to sleep.

I had a moment last night, you know one of those ironic time blending moments that make you choke up with the shear volume of emotion.. Last night Dd officially became a girl guide.

It was there sitting in the hall watching her interact with all the little girls.. I guess I just felt moved. She is such a simple child. She doesn’t have alot of wants, or cares for that matter. Innocents. It’s the most precious gift. Her heart is open and so fragile. I love her so much, no words could express the depth of my feelings.

She played, did a few crafts, learned the guiding oath, and made new friends. Guides are all about being a good friend, loving God and loving your country. It’s pretty basic. I was careful to check that there was no hokey religious thread like some of the other ones out there for young girls, you know like Jobs Daughters or whatever.

Dd likes to feel included, many times at school she isn’t so her biggest support network of feel good  incentives is still coming from home. Of course I don’t mind that but in order to truly develop a safe sense of well being, it’s good for her to find things, out side of us that make her feel good to her self.

We shall see, I prayed for her last night of course. I entrust this new road into Mary’s hands.

Well It’s now nearly 6 30am, I think I might get up completely and go back down stairs to make breakfast. I have to wake the kiddos in half an hour.

Have a wonderful day~

..thomas a kempis..

“True peace of heart, then, is found in resisting passions, not in satisfying them. There is no peace in the carnal man, in the man given to vain attractions, but there is peace in the fervent and spiritual man.”

“True peace of heart, then, is found in resisting passions, not in satisfying them. There is no peace in the carnal man, in the man given to vain attractions, but there is peace in the fervent and spiritual man.”

“SO LONG as we live in this world we cannot escape suffering and temptation. Whence it is written in Job: “The life of man upon earth is a warfare.”[3] Everyone, therefore, must guard against temptation and must watch in prayer lest the devil, who never sleeps but goes about seeking whom he may devour, find occasion to deceive him. No one is so perfect or so holy but he is sometimes tempted; man cannot be altogether free from temptation.

Yet temptations, though troublesome and severe, are often useful to a man, for in them he is humbled, purified, and instructed. The saints all passed through many temptations and trials to profit by them, while those who could not resist became reprobate and fell away. There is no state so holy, no place so secret that temptations and trials will not come. Man is never safe from them as long as he lives, for they come from within us — in sin we were born. When one temptation or trial passes, another comes; we shall always have something to suffer because we have lost the state of original blessedness.

Many people try to escape temptations, only to fall more deeply. We cannot conquer simply by fleeing, but by patience and true humility we become stronger than all our enemies. The man who only shuns temptations outwardly and does not uproot them will make little progress; indeed they will quickly return, more violent than before.

Little by little, in patience and long-suffering you will overcome them, by the help of God rather than by severity and your own rash ways. Often take counsel when tempted; and do not be harsh with others who are tempted, but console them as you yourself would wish to be consoled.

The beginning of all temptation lies in a wavering mind and little trust in God, for as a rudderless ship is driven hither and yon by waves, so a careless and irresolute man is tempted in many ways. Fire tempers iron and temptation steels the just. Often we do not know what we can stand, but temptation shows us what we are.

Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for the enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.

Someone has said very aptly: “Resist the beginnings; remedies come too late, when by long delay the evil has gained strength.” First, a mere thought comes to mind, then strong imagination, followed by pleasure, evil delight, and consent. Thus, because he is not resisted in the beginning, Satan gains full entry. And the longer a man delays in resisting, so much the weaker does he become each day, while the strength of the enemy grows against him.

Some suffer great temptations in the beginning of their conversion, others toward the end, while some are troubled almost constantly throughout their life. Others, again, are tempted but lightly according to the wisdom and justice of Divine Providence Who weighs the status and merit of each and prepares all for the salvation of His elect.

We should not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but pray to God the more fervently that He may see fit to help us, for according to the word of Paul, He will make issue with temptation that we may be able to bear it. Let us humble our souls under the hand of God in every trial and temptation for He will save and exalt the humble in spirit.

In temptations and trials the progress of a man is measured; in them opportunity for merit and virtue is made more manifest.

When a man is not troubled it is not hard for him to be fervent and devout, but if he bears up patiently in time of adversity, there is hope for great progress.

Some, guarded against great temptations, are frequently overcome by small ones in order that, humbled by their weakness in small trials, they may not presume on their own strength in great ones.”

There is one thing that keeps many from zealously improving their lives, that is, dread of the difficulty, the toil of battle. Certainly they who try bravely to overcome the most difficult and unpleasant obstacles far outstrip others in the pursuit of virtue. A man makes the most progress and merits the most grace precisely in those matters wherein he gains the greatest victories over self and most mortifies his will. True, each one has his own difficulties to meet and conquer, but a diligent and sincere man will make greater progress even though he have more passions than one who is more even-tempered but less concerned about virtue.

“Do not lose heart, then, my brother, in pursuing your spiritual life. There is yet time, and your hour is not past. Why delay your purpose? Arise! Begin at once and say: “Now is the time to act, now is the time to fight, now is the proper time to amend.”

“Keep yourself as a stranger here on earth, a pilgrim whom its affairs do not concern at all. Keep your heart free and raise it up to God, for you have not here a lasting home. To Him direct your daily prayers, your sighs and tears, that your soul may merit after death to pass in happiness to the Lord.”

..11th Station..

Jesus is nailed to the cross.

Christ crucified is sin condemned by the Father. The cross of Christ is the explosion of the awareness of evil. We enter into the relationship with Christ through the awareness we have of our sin. Here is where the fall without end in us is activated: in the absence of the awareness of sin and in the false awareness of sin, because regret and skepticism are not awareness of sin. He who has the sense of his own sin also has the sense of his own liberation.


I usually meditated the longest around the ninth and tenth stations, but that night it was here at the eleventh. It sort of went with the thread of my own life these days. The truth is everywhere now.

So yesterday was another very busy day, I wonder when it will be a day off.. I’ve heard the crude expression, you can have a day off when your dead.. Um, no! I don’t think that works for me. I just need to get a handle on the everyday a little bit better and hopefully things will run more smoothly.

Yesterday, SIL’s parents came to town. It was so we could discuss all of the treachery that has been uncovered in the last few weeks. I’m still surprised BIL and SIL aren’t in jail as week speak actually. For whatever reason they are here rather and well, If that is what is to be, then so be it.

However accountability is a funny thing, I can’t say much without the pot calling the kettle black but lets just say it was a difficult visit.

I didn’t have a huge part so I took it upon my self to cook and at the end of it all, we shared a meal- all of us at the same table. It felt like a moment. I blessed the meal, with a humble little prayer of thanks and even though that may not be their custom it felt right.

I was spent again last night, I fell into bed and was sleeping I am sure before my head even hit the pillow.

I am looking forward to the day ahead. It’s Sunday, it’s beautiful outside and I don’t know, no reason I guess, I am just happy to be here.

Have a wonderful day~