..last day..

Of being 29. I think I enjoyed it thoroughly, the day I meant. Mostly I read today. I got myself into a great book that was hard to put down, so after completing the minimum of the required tasks that I might do on a Friday.. there I sat nose in my book.

This is off topic, but I just have to write about my morning.

Okay I am not going to go into total details, but I just have to say.. Mass this morning, very moving. Okay I do love St Augustine, he truly inspires me. But the way Fr, was speaking about him, his works, the unwavering hope.. I in turn was greatly filled. Such reassurance. I can hardly describe the way my heart inflated.

What can I say, all my favorite saints.. Ambrose, Monika, Augustine, and tomorrow St. John the Baptist. (unfortunately it’s commemorating his beheading) But still I could have been born on a worse or less inspiring day.. Way to go Mom!

I have to say, as I was sitting in mass with my new found resignation.. everything and I mean everything seemed different, easier almost. Like how could I be so obtuse, what would have prevented me from realizing this great mystery years ago!!? My burden felt lighter. I am human so I admit I had to remind my self several times, be nice, be kind, ebbing ego.. stay down, but over all that wasn’t really that difficult. I did it and that’s what mattered.

So I’m going to be a God Parent. That’s a pretty significant request, at least I think it is. I asked some tough questions, tonight of my BIL and SIL. I know it and it’s especially true in my family, there is alot of watered down Catholicism. I know or at least it’s true in the cases of my own children’s God parent’s, that the job is certainly not taken with much reguard of the requirements. I want to be sure that if I agreed to stand up for this little niece of mine that her parents are going to support her faith.

I directly asked them if they are truly willing to raise their children according to our faith. It was an interesting conversation. I guess I was thinking a little about t John the baptist and I seriously went out on a limb. We talked during dinner in front of Dh in front of my own kids and in front of MIL. Witnesses.. We talked about the importance of Sunday obligation, about setting an example for O (My Niece), about being committed to her sacraments, in later years. We talked about the jeopardy we as parents can inflict on our children, the jeopardy in which we put there very souls when we take them away form the Church, not to mention what we do to our own..

This was not my intention, but as the opportunity arose, I took it.. Dh has not attended Mass since Steve was killed. I only asked for one thing for my birthday. His confession. I pray every single day for his conversion, whether we are together or not I still pray for him. It’s very hard to know he is in mortal danger and will do nothing to change.

So during our conversation at dinner, I hope some small seed may have been planted in Dh. I told SIL and BIL that if they wanted me to be her God Mother, I would pray for her everyday as I do for my own children and I’d guide her in her faith as long as I lived. I am committed to Jesus. I only want the same for my family. I’d be so lost with out Him. I’ve been lost. I’ve walked the valley of death, I have lived in the shade… NO MORE. I am a child of God, as O will soon be. I’ll always do everything in my power to help her to never be with out the Holy Spirit.

Anyway, today was good as far as Fridays go, I really didn’t do much. As I said I read alot, I went to Mass this morning, I met with Fr A, planned out the meals for a Youth Retreat coming in the fall, I finished my ironing, I cleaned my house, I even did the big job of windows, I made a lovely dinner for my whole family, and tonight the kids and I watched a movie. Now here I sit contemplating my day, writing out my thoughts.. I got up so early this morning I think I might got to bed right now. It’s not early anyway..

Tomorrow I am meeting Les Tres Professionals at the mill and we are going to hit the trails. I am going to run a very difficult route, at 7 30 am on my birthday.. LOL and that sounds like the perfect way to begin this new year.

What can I say. 29 has been a journey, an experience that I won’t soon forget. I think I have come ALONG way this year, I’ve made some truly good friends, I am alot more comfortable in my skin, I know what I want and where I am going, I am happy to be me… That practically a miracle. Thank you God!!

Good Night, Readers~

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