Well, what an event filled couple of days!
I did not get the job. That was disappointing. I really did want it. However, they did offer me the back up position, so I suppose that’s better than nothing. So back to job hunting. I did accept the Walcers offer, but I still need to find something else.
I have been giving much thought to what my purpose is.. Where I am going and in what direction. I’ve been thinking a great deal about my Vocation. Where does working fit into that plan? I have alot going on, I always do. Maybe a ‘job’ is not what is best for right now?
The purpose for the job isn’t really financial gain. Let’s be honest, we are not extravagant people, we made a decision nearly 12 years ago that I would raise up our children single handed, no day care.. and over the years managing on one income had proven challenging at times. We always had the kids as our prize, I mean, even though we sometimes went with out things, we never really did.
You know what I mean?
In our society nowadays it’s nearly unheard of that a mother stays at home to raise her children as long as need be. In CR, where I used to live I was the only one. ALL my friends worked. That gave me many opportunities to raise up lots of kids, our home was always full. Maybe I personally couldn’t have more children but I never felt the loss like I do now.
So then really the main reason I even started looking was becasue of the last year. All my personal changes.. So the draw to income now is security and independence for me. Other wise, if not for that then we would make due.
We always have.
So then, in appreciation of my vocation.. I am not done raising my children not by a long shot, in fact I expect my job to become more difficult in the next ten years, far more so than the last ten.. I need to be Here and Now more so than when they were small and needed mostly physical care and tender loving fixed all of life’s woes.
Now tender loving care is important but so is tough love, and rules, and boundaries, and accountability, and consistency.. The tables are turning. We are standing at another door.. A new door, this one has a glass window. So I can see the first few steps in front of me. I know that the road I am about to take is bumpy and most certainly not straight. With that awareness I still have my hand on the handle. I still feel the metallic clicks and the gears and springs that are working to open the latch.. I am still by some cosmic momentum heading in the direction of this new unfamiliar expanse..
Is this where I am called to devote my attention, right now?
I am starting to think so.
Let me make the final turn then and as the door swings open – I will be ready. My will bending to my Fathers, trusting implicitly that this is the place for me.
I guess I thought that it was affirming that during mass that Tuesday evening.. Of course it had to be a Tuesday, the day of my interview, that Fr’s homily touched on our vocations. He suggested prayer over the matter, which is exactly the good advice I needed..
How many times will I count my good fortune in being part of this parish.. Where I am so readily fed, where spiritual food is consistently at hand.. After the length of my spiritual journey so far, I am very aware that this is indeed a blessing.
Moving along, Dh arrived home Tuesday night. The children were so happy. I thought he looked different some how. I still haven’t put my finger on it. I think this camp was harder than some of the others he has worked at. Something happens to a mans soul in an environment with-holding common curtsies. I suspect his working environment has been a trial.
Yesterday, which was Wednesday we had to go to the Dr. is Parksville. Dd has her specialist appointment, for her ears. That was a quick appointment, all is well. One tube is out the other remains, with Cold and Flu season approaching.. we will undoubtedly be able to tell if she has been cured or not. There isn’t much of a way to check, other than to see how she fairs after an illness.
Following the appointment, we headed to Naniamo. I had a few errands to run, the kid needed new school shoes and I was searching for an Ipod with a better price for my Walcers. We didn’t find the I pod at the moment they are all the same price no matter which store I looked in. We did however bring something else home..
This was the trade off, after the death of our friend Dh went a little overboard thinking “why shouldn’t we give our children what they desire, if it makes them happy..” well I do not agree with that, but as he already told her, Dd I mean, that yes, she could in fact have a puppy, I looked a million ways to get out of the commitment..
Now if you know me in RL or have read my blog for awhile, I don’t ‘love’ animals. I tolerate them and I try but I am so not an animal person.. Animals = more work for me. I know, I know that’s so cynical. But that the reality for me.
So yesterday, we offered a bunny in place of a puppy. She took the deal and ta-da.. We have increased our numbers with a fairly low maintenance put. Dd is happy..
It is pretty soft and cute. I’ll deal.
So here we are Thursday morning, dh is working. He is working here for a few days on his off shift.. So I guess I better get some stuff done around here too. I stayed up a little too late last night with a book I couldn’t put down.. Now I am kind of tired.. Oh well. I think I might go for a quick run, a short run. That should put a little pep into my step!
Many blessings to you readers, enjoy your day!