..music and my soul..

Summer 2009 416

Do you think it’s possible to be moved by music?

I read recently a statement that I can not seem to let rest. I read it in my C &L booklet, From Faith, The Movement, that when your heart moves, you move…

When ever I write I listen to something in the back ground. I can not seem to tune out the day with out something to engage my mind and my soul.  Since I was 15 I have been a fan of baroque. Vivaldi, Pachelbel, Bach, Handel. As I grew I evolved slightly, I still enjoy that era but now my heart is moved more by the romantic era.. especially Chopin, I love the Nocturnes, but also Bruckner, Brahms, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky…

That I believe is unusual. For me it’s unusual. The way I grew up, the town I lived in, the people I associated with.. Let’s just say we are blue collar all the way. But I have always found something in the music. This is music. It speaks. It creates movement. It moves me.

As people, I hope we are always moving, changing, evolving.

I am.

It’s almost my birthday. 30. To me it’s relevant. It’s not just another birthday but a symbol of my journey. I’ve never experienced the kind of awareness that I have been exposed to this year. I have lived all my years to date in a state of uncertainty. From the very beginning. I believe I have the quality of a chameleon, over the years I have perfected the practice. Changing constantly to suit my environment. While living that lifestyle alot of time gets lost. I stayed in a perpetual state of almost there, not quite, it should be like this, too bad, if only… if only is the worst.

But now- how about this thought?

Why now? You know me.. I ask alot of ‘whys’. But really what makes today different than one year ago today?

Everything physically is different. I am older, the tree’s in my yard have matured, my children are taller, my husband has less hair ;-p.. We have lost loved ones and through birth have welcomed others..

Intellectually,  also very different. Perspective over the past has been acquired.  Hurts have been healed, forgiveness achieved, confidence procured..  But the most important difference –the longing.. recognized.

So what does this mean? Possibly I’ll never comprehend, however I am comforted to think that this is all leading to my Destiny. Every step, from my August birth 10932 days ago.. is leading me here.

He knows us, He knows our weeknesses, He knows our joys, He knows how long it will take us to get here.

It’s amazing.

Trials, dramas, whatever you choose to call them are part of life, my life certainly.. But without them, all of them, every second of the suffering; I would not, nor could not, be here, not exactly here.

What does this have to do with Music?


With out this awareness, I would not appreciate it’s beauty, I would not notice the stirring of my soul…


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