..i am here..

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I’ve had lots of time to think today, too much even. Now as I am sitting here in relative silence, i hear the wind in the leaves, the twinkling of my chimes, some kids off in the distance.. I can fully appreciate my day, and what is to come.

It is as always, sometimes your head and heart just don’t match up.

The simplicity of it is astonishing. The putting into practice is something wholly else.

A little while ago I was fully prepared to write a big long whiny post about the things that I am unhappy about. I was starting to feel oppressed again. I could not breath. That scares me, I really don’t like that feeling. I did my best I held it in, then I went and prayed. Alone in the church, silently speaking to Jesus.

Dh is shut down for heat, so he will be home for a bit. Okay we know right there, with that statement life will be a little more challenging for me. I am preparing myself mentally to embrace the challenge. He has gone out with some friends. They started drinking this afternoon, so who knows what tonight will be like.

Saving Grace or headcase?? You tell me, My MIL is on her way. So either she will save me from destruction or make it worse. I am leaning to saving grace because, we will have two others with her my BIL and new SIL. I think she will be acting all nice, nice since they are here. I hope he doesn’t let the alcohol give him an excuse to start something.

I have done a number of things to prepare for my walking option. So don’t worry about me, we will be fine. 

Anyway, I probably won’t have the freedom to write as much as I wish for the next few days, I’ll try but I don’t know for sure. I am going to keep focused on the road ahead and try my best not to let the side attractions distract me. I will try to keep up the running, since we will have company I might try going early. After prayers maybe around 6 am. It supposed to be hot for another week. I like how I feel after I run, much better at facing other things. There is daily mass the rest of the week, and I have my key for any other time I need it. I have lots of numbers on my phone which never leaves my pocket and I think that will be helpful.

If the heat continues, Dh will be going back to camp. We shall see…

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