Me, at the lake with six inches less of hair!! ha ha to keep this annonymous you only get a view from the back. Clever huh!
Among other things.. Today is Monday the weekend has passed, I survived in good form. We kept pretty busy over the weekend. Saturday was CL. and yesterday we went to the lake, the weather has been so beautiful here. Dd went swimming of course. She is such a little fish. I don’t blame her thought, all through the year she has to stay out of the water as she can’t get her ear tubes wet with chlorinated water so as soon as it’s possible to swim in the lake or ocean, she is impatiently waiting to go. It must have been around 29 or 30 yesterday, the sun was nice, but the water was brrrrrrr too cold for me. LOL. I kept my nose in a book and just watched them playing around. The extent of my swimming was walking around in the water up to my knees. Actually it wasn’t bad after awhile, I think once the frost bite set in you really couldn’t feel the cold. :-p
So my MIL and SIL decided to come by yesterday. They came for dinner and to stay the night. You know what? I put it into my head right away and said so as well, as it was Sunday I refused to waste the entire day cleaning for her. Sunday is supposed to be a family day and I’ll keep it as such thank you very much!! So that’s what we did.
After the lake we arrived home around 4 o’clock and I started on dinner. We were supposed to be eating at 5 30 or six, but MIL didn’t show up until nearly 7. That was a bit irritating. My dinner was fine but my children were starving. Oh well, not much a can do to control anything she does or says.
It’s hard for me to think sometimes about the person I am becoming. I’m so different now. I have sort of completely done a 180, and it’s sometimes strange. Good ~but strange. I am fairing pretty well, all things taken into consideration. I am able to pretty confidently maintain a balance, living with compromise but not compromising my morals, dignity or integrity. It’s such a simple and obvious way to be, but in itself it’s still very new. I am trying my best to be strong. I am starting to gain an identity of my very own. I am not nearly as reliant on Dh for much of anything anymore, emotionally especially. I don’t need/want his approval either. And that is where the progress is being made. I am my own person, anything we do together, will and can not be harmful to me or else I simply will not do it. I am so astonished over this revelation because I have no idea were this strength comes from?! Well, that’s not true, I know exactly where it comes from, I have abandoned my life into His hands, that is the only way this level of change is possible. I am blessed with good friends near and far.. to help me on my way. Sometimes the best thing isn’t help so much a an ear to listen.. it’s amazing how much I enjoy one sided conversations… LOL. I type, you listen.. Ha ha ha..
This is off topic, but I am typing from my room this morning, upstairs room that is (MIL is here downstairs) Right now I am watching the sun rise over the mountain. The sky is already light and bright with the morning hues. We are so blessed to be able to witness this splendor. No oppression, no hunger, no fear, no persecution, just a simple path to follow with many choices along the way. I live in such a free world. This is something I try and keep in mind, you know- for perspective. I make my life happen. I choose my destiny or I choose to accept it. It’s my free will. I am not governed by any human, I am living for God, made by God, with the eternal hope to please only God. That’s all that matters, everything else comes second, and secondly everything else will fall into place. In His time, not mine.
This Freedom, that’s what makes me feel truly free. Knowing without a doubt, I am His.
Okay that’s a little deep for six on a Monday morning, but it’s been my main train of though all weekend long. I can survive any turmoil and did with that in my mind. A purpose. It gives such purpose to my life. I am a Mother, I try to live respectfully leading a good example for my family, but the example I most want to leave is how much I love Christ, and how I do all things with and for Him.
That is not saying I am in some way, infallible.. LOL. Yes you can laugh, because I am NOT perfect by any stretch, In fact I am absolutely human, with all my tendency’s to sin but the desire in my heart is for Christ. My heart is on Him, and for Him. Even as I am weak and on my knees. After the fall, the stumbling, the confusion, I am still His daughter. He loves me over and over and over again. How glorious is this?
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED BUT I LOST MY ENTIRE POST. GRRRRRRRRRRR!
It was long too. Well, I’m not going to rewrite now.. Soooo frustrating. All I have left is what is above, which doesn’t even contain the most important stuff. I don’t know why this happens sometimes.