..small blessings..

lilacs

Terrible Tuesday wasn’t so bad this week. Maybe I should take that back, it’s not over yet. Nope I still think it, I am optomistic about the remainder of Tuesday.

I am about to go running, something that I am enjoying more and more as my fitness level increases. It’s kind of weird out side dark and light clouds, threats of rain a bit of wind but amazingly breathtaking. The sun is shining through the clouds playing a colorful game of hide and seek. The shades of blue and purple have spanned right across the entire clouds filled sky.

 I stayed busy and focused all day despite some very strong efforts to open the flood gate of despair. I have no idea what it is about Tuesday that does that. I sort of thought I was over thinking it a little bit, but I don’t think so. It comes at me a little different each time… Temptations come at me always in the worst ways. I guess that’s why they are called temptations. they are not supposed to be good.

Today it was about abortion. I was at Mass the intention was for all people that suffer the effects of abortion in any capacity. Whether they have participated, witnessed, procured.. I offered my sadness for this intention. I prayed not only for my personal tragedy but for the other woman and her baby. It was like something useful. Rather than something consuming and destructive. later on after I got home the next thing happened. I was on a page, on face book. I was replying to a picture from a friend and I got onto Her page. The other woman.. The same other woman I had prayed for that very morning. It was so strange. I saw her, her sister that I knew so well back then, and other members of Dh’s old group of friends. It didn’t really bother me though. I rather than dwelling on the injustice, noticed her family. She has had three beautiful children since. I am not jealous. I just observed. Then I shut it off. If that was how I was to be temped today, I’ll find something else to do thank you very much.

So I did lots of other things, I stayed on task. I left the radio off, I left the TV off I simply worked in silence. It was nice.

I noticed how beautiful my lilac tree is looking today. Lilacs and Lilies. My favorite flowers. So sweet and fragrant. Like I said small blessings.

Time to go, wish me luck..

It’s 5:58pm

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