Prayer, kindness, servitude, fortitude for that matter, openness to Gods plan, simplicity, love of God, love of neighbor..
All good things.
It’s amazing to me, that on a self described bad day my world is dark and filled with a hopeless despair.. but then on a self described good day I can hardly imagine what that felt like. I’ve been on such a tidal wave of emotion, literally in the midst of a raging storm that even sitting here in my quiet home I feel a little shaky.. Like I am bracing for the next battery of emotion and chaos.
I am worried a little about my actions. I haven’t been the best person or mother lately. I’m not feeling guilty, I am stating a fact. I don’t blame my self either, I know one can only with stand so much emotional tension before our minds slip a little. But that doesn’t excuse my behavior. It only serves to remind me, Life is not measured by my standards. I can try again, and I can try to do better next time.
I was a jerk this morning. I was frazzled and things that normally don’t bother me, got right under my skin. I have also been forgetful, very forgetful, my routine is really out of whack and it’s so obvious.. but it’s not me that suffers it’s my children. I am their guide in this life, my job is to make sure they are capable of being good thinkers, kind hearted, self motivated, reliable, just, productive citizens in our ever changing world. I once heard someone say that “it’s our job is to get them to Heaven”.. that too.
Two things to keep in mind,
Not everything he says is true. Actions speak louder than words…
I am the example for my children. again Actions speak louder than words…
I went to Mass this morning,I’m glad I did because I felt a little stronger afterwards.. I feel like I should refer to putting on the armor of God.. I stayed to pray the Rosary which is as good as armor.. Sometimes I feel fatally without it. This is off topic but I read that St Faustina, prayed for the temptation of unchastity to be taken from her, and God granted her that grace.. That makes me feel hopeful. Not that I am anything like her, but I still pray for that grace, I haven’t actually cut in a long time, but it’s what I think about when things get overwhelming. Every. single. time. It’s Dh – he’s my biggest trigger. I am praying like St Faustina to have the grace to take all the temptation away.
Afterwards I went to see my lovely friends the W’s. Poor Joe, he was much worse today. Yesterday he took his wife to the Dr.s I don’t think he should have gone out.. it was too much for him. I made them some hearty soup for lunch, lots of vitamins.. I am good at making soup, I was thankful for that gift today. After that I went and ran some errands for them and picked up some Omega 3 vitamins for my self.. I stopped taking them years ago, but maybe now is a good time to start again. Omega 3’s are like a general oil for the brain. When I was done the running around I came back finished up with them and came home..
I am going to take Joe to the hospital tomorrow, he needs another Xray. You know who is his Dr. ? Our own favorite Parish Dr.
Small world hey.. Anyway that’s tomorrow. As for the rest of today I am making Sopa de albondiga.. (translated is meatball soup) for dinner and CLEANING my messy house. My kids have a night off and I am hoping to have a quiet afternoon/evening, and another early bedtime. Well that is the plan..
I wish I had my camera last night, as I was nearing the end of my walk I was standing on the wooden bridge, the light was beginning to fade and I was looking at the sky’s reflection in the water.. it was so beautiful. It would have made a nice picture.
Enjoy the day..