It’s the end of the day and I am feeling a little bit alone. Today I had a lot of time to think. I was alone all day. It’s what I thought I wanted, it is what I want but I guess it will take a little getting used to. Ds was with a friend today and dd had a bday party to go to. I didn’t receive one phone call, all was very quiet.

Well. that was interesting timing, the second I finished typing quiet, the phone rang. Dh called, from camp. I recognized the number, it’s the same as all those years before. He wasn’t very happy on the phone, he is still upset with me apparently. Well I guess i can’t blame him, what I said was pretty harsh. He has no cell phone reception, so it’s the arrangement of one call a night to say good night to the kids. It’s often like that when he is away.

Why do I feel even worse now? I wonder sometimes, oh I guess it doesn’t matter. I don’t really feel like writing, my thoughts are all jumbled. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could be more independent, and less well what ever I am now. I am tired of feeling sad and alone.

I do know I am not actually alone, I do have some people in my life that care, I know that. Knowledge though is just not really that comforting. That’s sort of what I want now, to be comforted.

I think I might watch a movie.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: