I wanted to write quickly, to formally make a list. I feel some resolution, some direction.
Staying closer to God, is my highest priority, I truly believe through him, all things are possible. I had recently become distracted, as pleasurable and fulfilling my distractions seemed, it was pulling me away from God. I have tried repeatedly to get clarification, over this matter. It’s pointless, clarification is not needed, truth, and prayer. That’s what is important. Spiritual direction, guidance, time spent silently truly reflecting over self and striving for sanctity. Everything done as for the Lord.
I am a simple creature; I thrive in minimalism, so that must be considered.
Health, body and mind; I will continue to be diligent in caring for my self, my whole self. No more unlawful actions based on feelings. I will try my very best. I will make time to exercise, not because I care too much about my appearance but because I want to be healthy and fitness has everything to do with being healthy. I will walk/run for fitness but also for sanity. I will get fresh air to quiet my mind, I will walk alone to settle the internal struggle that sometimes imposes on me. I will do this without guilt or excuse. I will find pleasing activities that enrich my days.
I will set a good example, in all the ways I can. I will create a loving nurturing environment, I will react with thoughtfulness, I will maintain strong boundaries, expectations and morals. I will lead by example and give my children and strong positive roll model.
I will make the commitment. I will give the benefit of the doubt, and I will set personal boundaries. I will be willing to compromise, but will not compromise myself. I will do my best to maintain a healthy level of self sacrifice. Not total sacrifice, until such a time as my well being is his true interest. I will continue to work on my self esteem, and will work on becoming my own secure person. I will not be bullied; I will continue to speak up for myself. However, at this point I am committing my self. I will try to make this work.