..v-day part two..

Overly dramatic, It’s what I do. I don’t know how to fix all of this. I am very worried though. Could last night have been the straw that broke the camels back? As much as I hate fighting, It felt good to say those things out loud. I know it hurts him, I don’t want to be the cause, the problem, but I am. It’s hard to keep everything all bottled up. It prevents me from seeing what’s right in front of me. It’s prevents growth, it prevents maturity. It’s like a dark cloud or a hurricane. I am the eye, I leave a path of destruction and don’t get to close because it will suffocate and destroy. I have no idea. Such a jam. I want so badly to fix everything. In order for me to fix the present though I think I must fix the past. In order to make peace with the past I must make peace with myself. I am so stuck blaming him, I am, and I can’t let go. It’s awful because I am harder on myself, and on him it comes and goes.. This really isn’t making sense. I’ll write more later. I wish I were a Hermit, living in a mountain cave, alone.
No I don’t, I’d miss my family. I supposed I could live like a hermit, simply and quietly. That would probably be better for all of us.

Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: