..my path..

Well today is ending much better than it began. Thank you, God. Today was a day for perspective. I am putting my trust in someone vastly greater than myself. I am also reminding myself that there is a plan bigger than my brain is able to comprehend, Just for me.

“Don’t you believe that there is, in man a deep so profound, as to be hidden, even to him in whom it is?”

-St. Augustine

Today in itself was much like any other, I was mostly alone. Children at school, Dh at work.

To fill my time I made breakfast, prepared the lunches, got Ds and Dd out the door, I did my book keeping, I talked to my Mother, (which needs an entirely separate post) did the laundry, considered dinner possibilities, washed some bathrooms, mopped the floor, coached Ds’s practice, checked the messages, car pooled the neighbor kid, watched Dd’s practice, made dinner, washed the dishes, ran a bath for Dd…..

I like my life, the way it is. I like the routine, the habitual order that is me. I don’t take change well. That is to say, I don’t fair well during uncertainty. I don’t do loose ends well. Predictability is marvelous.

Well that’s mostly the case. I wouldn’t be upset if I was spontaneously thrown into an adventure. Something challenging and invigorating that I could recollect and ponder during those long moments of silence that fill the hours of my day. Like my birthday, so spontaneous, I’ll never for get that for as long as I live. In that way I could be completely impulsive.

My two faces again. Me and Me. Not necessarily a bad thing, more like a puzzle, complicated yet intriguing.

After some reflection, during time spent this afternoon in His presence; I will try to be more objective and less judgmental upon myself. Because who am I to judge? Only He can judge me. It is only His opinion that will ever count.

There is a plan for me. Of course I do not know at this time what it is, I may never. Rather I know that there is and that’s whats important. I was getting lost and it was time to stop and ask for directions. If you don’t ask, He won’t help. So, I did. I have been thinking of St Faustina today. Such a brave and beautiful woman.

Kids are calling, time to be Momma. My favorite time of the whole day… Good Night!


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